Saturday, October 10, 2009

Going too far- Environmentalists want to nix plush toilet paper

Remember back in 2007 when wacky Sheryl Crow called for using 1 square of toilet paper per sitting? Well, the environmentalists are back at it again calling for the elimination of plush-type toilet paper because it's un-green to use anything softer than wax paper to wipe our butts.

Although toilet paper and tissues account for only 5 percent of the U.S. paper industry, to environmentalists 5 percent is more than they can bear. I suppose they'd be happiest if we used corn cobs or newspapers to do our business, but they'll settle for recycled toilet paper instead, it seems. So they've been lobbying manufacturers to go green and make their t.p. more environmentally friendly by using recycled materials. Apparently Green peace has been doing their bit to put pressure on the paper industry:

Last month, Greenpeace announced an agreement that it said would change this industry from the inside. The environmental group had spent 4 1/2 years attacking Kimberly-Clark, the makers of Kleenex and Cottonelle toilet paper, for getting wood from old-growth forests in Canada. But the group said it is calling off the "Kleercut" campaign: Kimberly-Clark had agreed to make its practices greener. By 2011, the company said, 40 percent of the fiber in all its tissue products will come from recycled paper or sustainable forests.

One manufacturer of recycled t.p., Marcal, is trying to convince people that strength is better than soft.

"Strength of toilet paper is more important, for obvious reasons," said Spring, the chief executive, guiding a golf cart among the machinery that whizzes up vast stacks of old paper, whips it into a slurry, and dries it into rolls of toilet paper big enough for King Kong. He said his final product is as strong as any of the big-name brands. "If the paper breaks during your use of toilet paper, obviously, that's very, very important."

Don't get me wrong, although I don't buy into the global warming hysteria, I think recycling is extremely important, and trashing our earth is a crime, but anyone who wants to do away with soft toilet paper needs to experience a bout of dysentery or know what it feels like to have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) or any of the Inflammatory Bowel Diseases before they decide to nix plush toilet paper. I think they would sing a very different tune.


Steve Harkonnen said...

After Sheryl Crow made that announcement, I cringed at the idea if she handed me her guitar to play it.

namaste said...

sheryl crow is gross. and i'm sure the handwashing is a minimum to conserve water.

i've never been one to join protest groups. but if they try to nix plush t.p. i'm constructing my picket sign!

Pat Jenkins said...

like i told sheryl before i don't use toilet paper so there!

Moms In Need Of Mercy said...

Oh man! I just discovered Charmin ultra plush or something like that. It's like the plush robes you get at the spa--JUST KIDDING :)
I guess we could all switch to using sheets from the New York Times?