Monday, June 02, 2008

Joke of the Day: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road: From the eyes of Obama, Oprah and Others

Just finished a project and started a new one, so..
from patjknowsitall comes this fun look at how Obama, Oprah and others interpret

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE!
The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to acertain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C%> .......... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.


Pat Jenkins said...

my favorite fried chicken, popeyes!!!!!

Chris McClure aka Panhandle Poet said...

Warren Buffett: The chicken crossed the road because the price of beef kept going up on this side. His behavior is strictly a function of risk and reward.

Nikki said...

Very funny, I got this in an email. I am glad you posted it. American politics really are funny if you just look at it soooo not so seriously...:)N

Incognito said...

PATJ: Explain the Mcdonalds one peej.

PAN: Very clever!

NIKKI: Funny how the same emails get sent around. But they're certainly great fodder.

Righty64 said...

Very funny! I linked this to my blog with a big thank you! We need some humor with the choices we are stuck with for the presidential nominees!

Karen said...

This is a good chuckle. It's going to be a long, hot summer and we'll be needing these!

Maria said...

This made a nice laugh, thanks;)

MUD said...

The chicken finally grew up and realized the Left side of the road was good for the heart but not good for the country.
Can you imagine after all the hell Hillary put Barry Through she still thinks she needs to be on the ticket?
To me that is just double the reason to not vote for that ticket.

Jay O. said...

Obama gave a second speech a week later, in which he said

"That is definitely not the chicken I know. Was I aware that the chicken would cluck some provocative things - yes. Was I aware that the chicken would cross in front of the barn to get more feed - yes. I was not aware that the chicken had any thoughts about crossing the road, and he did not do in my presence."

Incognito said...

RIGHTY: Yeah we do.. but I still don'[t have as great a problem with MCCain as you and others do. :-) and thanks for the link, my friend.

KAREN: And fall... at least until the elections are over...

MARIA: You are very welcome. Thanks for stopping by.

MUD: I agree.... I never thought she would go for that... the ego you know, but... who knows what lurks in that devious brain of hers.

JAYO: :-) thanks for your version!

danny wright said...

Very funny, I tried my "talent" and came up with this one:

Jeremiah Wright: "he was an American chicken; had fouled up that side of the road and wanted to go home to roost.