Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Afghan Taliban Commander Demands $100 Reward Money For His "Own" Capture

Here's another Darwin Award contender, this time out of Afghanistan.  I realize the bulk of Taliban fighters are uneducated and ignorant, but this is priceless.

Mohammad Ashan was a wanted man in Paktika province.  He's a pea-brained Taliban commander who had his face plastered on posters with  a $100 finders fee on his head. He's only a mid-level commander, so maybe that's why the reward offer was so low. But one day last week, Ashan, poster in hand, walks up to the local police checkpoint in Sar Howza district demanding the reward money- for his capture. You see, Ashan was allegedly behind several recent attacks, so Afghan security forces posted the "Be on the Lookout" posters (emblazoned with his name and face) all over the district.

 Some interesting comments from U.S. Officials regarding Ashan's actions :

“improbable stupidity,”
“This guy is the Taliban equivalent of the ‘Home Alone” burglars,”
“Clearly, the man is an imbecile.”

When U.S. troops went to confirm that Ashan had in fact come forward to claim the finder’s fee, they were initially incredulous.

“We asked him, ‘Is this you?’ Mohammad Ashan answered with an incredible amount of enthusiasm, ‘Yes, yes, that’s me! Can I get my award now?’” recalled SPC Matthew Baker.

A biometric scan confirmed that the man in Afghan custody was the insurgent they had been looking for.

He, of course, was arrested. Thank God for stupidity.

No comments: